


Oblivion

by dorkslayer



Series: logolepsy [1]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Being Trapped, Character Study, Claustrophobia, F/M, M/M, Sort of? - Freeform, idk what to tag this as?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-05
Updated: 2017-12-05
Packaged: 2019-02-11 01:45:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12924687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dorkslayer/pseuds/dorkslayer
Summary: Oblivion: the state of being completely forgotten or unknown; connotes feelings of isolation and aloofness, which lead to the annihilation or extinction of the self metaphoricallyA collection of scenes from Lup's time spent inside the umbra staff.





	Oblivion

**Author's Note:**

> Yo look another series and it's more Taz what am I doing with my life. I just have a lot of feeling about Lup okay?

Awareness returns slowly, but still faster than anything else. There is only silence and black velvet smothering her:

Who is her? Where does magic end and self begin? It's too hard to distinguish that, and she's tired from even being awake, so she just stops trying and let's herself drift and become one with the magic that traps her.

-

Lup.

That's her name. Or she's pretty sure that's her name? That's the only thing that really comes up after a long time looking. It sounds like a name, like some sort of identifier. Is she Lup? Is she a person? Personhood shouldn't feel like this, she knows it's definitely not supposed to feel like this, so what is she? 

What happened to make her like this?

-

Taako! Oh! How could she forget Taako? Her brother was the apple of her eye, the one she loved most in the world. She did all this for him; because she wanted him to be safe.

If she focuses really hard she can almost recall him. He's fuzzy and blurry around the edges, but that's okay, because he's all that she has.

-

Except that he's not, because now she remembers Barry. Sweet Barry who labored over that song with her and made a pact with her that went beyond life or death. Where is Barry now? What happened to him? Lup has so, so many questions and no one to answer them.

It's dark and quiet wherever she is, so she does the only thing she can think to do.

She rests.

-

It comes back to her, slowly but steadily. 

Their home planet, the starblaster, the century's worth of cycles. She remembers her family, her crew, and doesn't know how she ever could have forgotten them in the first place.

Relics. Lup remembers the relics. The Hunger that drove them so far and destroyed so much life. For once, Lup feels something, and it tastes like metal and blood. She feels rage.

But it's okay, the gauntlet is hidden, she succeeded in that. Her family is safe, and in the end that's all that matters.

-

Oh gods above, she's in the umbrella, isn't she? 

That's the only answer she can possibly think of. Note to self: next time you create a crazy powerful weapon, make sure it's not designed to actually swallow you up. But hey, at least it's tastefully decorated. Lup is in a room of black velvet curtains, sometimes when she has the strength she'll walk into them. Every time she ventures into the curtains, she steps back out into the clearing not five feet into her journey. It's terrible and infuriating and exhausting.

Lup feels like an idiot, an idiot trapped in an umbrella which is a thousand times worse than just being an idiot.

Taako would lose his shit if he could see her now.

And Barry, ugh Barry would laugh so hard. He'd laughed at the umbrella's first draft, he would find it hysterical that Lup was now trapped in it. 

And besides that, what the hell was she supposed to do? Umbrellas can't move independently, and this one is really good at keeping magic contained. If Lup were in a human body, she would be hyperventilating with anxiety right now. As it is, her soul just quivers with fear.

Is she going to be trapped here for the rest of eternity, or until the Hunger finds this plane and destroys it? She doesn't know which outcome is worse.

-

Then she hears voices. There hasn't been activity in the cave where Lup died since she first hid the gauntlet, so this is a startling sound. She prays they aren't here for the gauntlet, that her hard work isn't all about to go to waste. Then she hears his voice.

It's Taako.

If she had a body she would be crying. The group inspects the body, her body, and for the first time in a decade she feels human touch.

Except it's not Taako, and that just won't do.

Lup summons all of her strength, more than she knew she had, and creates a small blast that sends Merle flying away from her. Finally, finally, Taako picks her up, and she loses awareness and falls into the inky blackness, exhausted from that show of strength.

-

Power comes back very slowly after that. When she comes back into awareness they're not in the cave anymore, they're in a dormitory. Lup has no idea how she knows this, given that she doesn't have eyes or anything, but she does. 

Taako doesn't use the staff a whole bunch, which kinda sucks for Lup, she's got the umbrella equivalent of pins and needles.

Lup also learns a lot more just from listening. Sometimes it's indistinct and hard to hear but if she's close enough she can completely hear people talking.

She figures out within the first week what Lucretia has done.

It's awful, the betrayal stings so badly it makes Lup want to scream. Except she can't, because she's stuck in the umbrella, well she can, but there's no one to hear her do it. Whatever noise she makes gets swallowed up by the curtains and distinguished. That hurts too, she feels choked by the restriction, bound by a force too great for her. 

Her friends don't remember her. Not sweet Magnus, or kindhearted Merle, not even her own brother knows her name. 

Barry is just gone apparently, and Lup misses him like she would miss a limb. The sadness is overwhelming, and with nowhere to go, it stews within her.

One day there is a sudden upset in what Lup has come to know as daily life.

Taako and the rest of their crew leave the base Lucretia has made on the moon, and they board a train. The train part is sort of confusing? Lup doesn't know what on earth they would need with a train, especially when they can travel by giant flying sphere. 

It takes her no time at all to figure out the problem, there is a relic somewhere on this train. It makes Lup horribly angry, Lucretia couldn't do her own dirty work? Instead she had to send Taako and her friends out to face a force that they horribly underestimate? What the hell kind of leader does that.

They get in a big old fight, of course they do. It's with a crab, which is cool. Then they fight a wizard and ain't that bomb as shit. Lup gets to stretch her metaphorical legs too when Taako casts a few spells. Then, something very interesting happens.

The umbra staff opens, and promptly swallows a wand whole.

Oh right, Lup thinks, that's what this motherfucker does. 

The absorption itself is very weird, she can feel it merging with her and becoming a part of the staff, but it doesn't drop into the room with her. Instead the curtains pulse and shiver as if being blown by a nonexistent wind. She doesn't stop thrumming and tingling for a while with the force of it, but when it's over she immediately feels the changes. 

It's like drinking a healing potion. Lup feels sharp, more awake than she's been in a long time. The wand is a splash of cold water that wakes her up. She's alert, and it feels really weird. Somehow she can discern more, and can't believe how much she was missing.

It's weird, this mingling, it's her power but at the same time, not. At least it helps, she's definitely stronger now so that's cool. Now all she has to do is figure out how to leave this damn umbrella.

So she gets a workout, and that's nice, but Lup still can't really do shit. She can't quite move on her own besides occasionally being able to float a tiny bit. It's frustrating and it's really tearing Lup up inside. She's useless. Her family is out there fighting for their lives and Lup is stuck inside a fucking umbrella. 

It's enough to drive someone crazy, and occasionally Lup does feel crazy, like she's losing parts of herself. Sometimes she loses awareness for days when Taako doesn't use very strong spells, and will awake with a jolt whenever something big happens nearby.

But beyond that, she's so very lonely. Taako doesn't even remember her, Barry is gone, and her friends are all changed beyond measure. Lup is well and truly alone, the only person who still has that shared life experience is Lucretia. 

When Lup first realized what Lucretia had done, she was outraged. How dare she hurt Lup's family? How dare she make them forget who they were? But now Lup is struggling.

Lucretia very clearly misses them all. She's so downcast these days, stiffer and sadder than she had ever been on the starblaster. Lup remembers the judges, how Lucretia had come out of that cycle so changed. This is that Lucretia, one who has confronted loneliness and loss and just barely come out on top. This Lucretia has known violence and seen terrible deeds, and in her heart wanted desperately to stop them. 

And Lup can see that angle okay? Lucretia has done what she can, and it's actually kinda working. From what Lup can see, there is currently no looming threat from the Hunger. Lucretias plan worked, but it's clearly eating her up inside. Lup did the same thing once, tried to fix a terrible mistake at the cost of her own life. At least Lucretia can protect her friends, Lup can do nothing.

It take a long, long time, but Lup lets go of her anger. It's mostly because she knows Taako never will, and the idea of them leaving Lucretia alone tears at her. This time she'll stand up to her brother and stay with her family, mistakes and all.

-

Lup can absolutely confirm that battle wagon racing is her jam. She has the umbrella equivalent to a battle rush.  
If she had blood, it would be pumpin. 

It's probably the most alive she's felt in a long, long time. She can almost feel Taako's excitement pumping through the umbra staff and into her. It's exhilarating and thrilling and Lup can almost forget her situation.

Whatever she absorbed from the wagon was insane. If the wand was a breeze, the core is a hurricane. For once in her pitiful existence inside the umbrella, she feels good.

But the destruction the Gaia sash reaps is enough to sober her up. What did they do when they made those relics? What were they thinking? Save a plane from one evil and condemn it to another. 

Her heightened senses are picking up......something. Whatever it is feels strong, probably strong enough to beat her friends in their exhausted state. Ugh why does it feel so familiar? She can sense a presence nearby that she knows, but can't put a finger on what it is. Eventually the presence passes, and Lup forgets about it. If it passed them by then it's not worth worrying about.

She rests some more, loses a huge chunk of time after that race to sleep. The magical core was an awesome boost, but magical exhaustion is a killer so she just has to take some time. She meditates and lays calm and patient for long periods of time, which isn't something she could have done maybe 20 years ago. She's mellowed out a bit, or maybe just focused up some more. Whatever it is, she's changed, and it's a change that's very obvious to her.

When they go down into the lab, Lup gets some mad heebee jeebees. Whatever is down here, something that isn't the philosophers stone, is giving off death vibes. Being very dead herself, Lup is ultra familiar with the feeling. 

The feeling gets stronger as they go deeper into the lab, in fact soon it's all she can focus on. It's not a bad feeling, but it sends shivers down her spine.

Aaaannnnnddddd it's the fucking grim reaper. Of course it is, because it's not like Lup is an undead being of immense power or anything. First relics, now ghost cops? When is the universe going to give her a break.

Reaper dude starts listing off deaths and Lup actually laughs for the first time since before she died. Her friends are completely clueless, and the reaper is getting more and more agitated as he goes on. Lup completely loses it when Taako threatens to tentacle the reapers dick, she rolls around almost uncontrollably on the floor of the umbra staff. The feeling of joy is so strong and overwhelming that she can't stop laughing, she laughs until the laughter turns to tears and the tears turn to sobs. 

She cries for a while, not the first time she's cried in the umbra staff but certainly the worst. She goes into a rage, tears at the curtains and tries to claw her way out. It's like a dam broke inside her, everything she's been holding back for years comes rushing out.

Lup comes back from her mini breakdown with a new resolve. She has to get out of here. She has to warn Taako and her friends about the Hunger and the danger of the relics yet to come. 

Meditation is her answer. Rest and practice. When Taako meditates, she practices moving. A few times she accidentally floats up pretty high and loses her grip, dropping from the ceiling to the floor with a bang. The inhabitants of the room will bolt awake in a cold sweat, and it's become a pretty fun sight. 

Finally, after quite a bit of rest and practice, she's ready. All that's left is to wait for Taako to cast a spell.

And cast he does, so Lup uses the spell she's always been best at, scorching ray, and leaves a message for him.

The stunt comes at the cost of her energy and a plate of macaroons. Whoops, sorry Angus. 

Taako doesn't even get the hint, but at least it's something. If only she knew more, like where Lucretia was keeping the second voidfish or what was really happening with the relics. 

Lup had to rest lots after her little message, so she almost misses their departure to Refuge. Most of it is blurry and hard to follow. Something about having time reset again and again is putting a strain on her, and she stays in a trance like fugue state for most of the trip. 

Afterwards, something is changed. Magnus in particular is very different, and Lup has hope that he's almost on to something. The chalice was, after all, his relic. Refuge impacted him just as much this time around as it did before.

Lup was finally getting back feeling when she realized what vibes she was picking up. The grim reaper was around, and he was coming straight for Taako.

Or rather, Taako was coming straight for him? Lup cannot fathom why Taako would take death embodied on a date to a wine and pottery place, but he sure did. Lup, who had never had the distinct pleasure of third wheeling a date, spends the whole night with her fingers in her ears trying to block out the grossness of it all. Kravitz actually seems like an okay dude when he's not dragging souls to the astral plane. He's hilariously awkward in a way that powerful beings shouldn't be able to be. 

Of course, he's also too smart for his own good.

He's a reaper, Lup is a litch. It's a match made in hell. Of course he was going to find her out one day, she just didn't expect it to be today.

Alright, she thinks, better just get rid of the problem now.

It's maybe a little hasty. Taako might never forgive her, but better that than not being able to save him at all. It's only Taako's quick thinking that keeps her from mustering all of her strength to annihilate death. However it is enough to scare Kravitz away, and that works just fine for now. 

The whole dating thing has her thinking about Barry again. She's almost 90% sure that he was the figure they spoke to in Refuge. How else would he have known about the umbra staff? That brief encounter makes Lup feel the loss even more acutely. Where has he been? He's in litch form, which sucks because it means he lost his form too, but it makes her feel a little less lonely. Misery loves company and all that. 

He sounded so broken, so beaten down by the world. Barry isn't supposed to sound like that. He's supposed to look on the bright side of things and balance out Lup's more pessimistic nature. Barry isn't the one that should be tired and haggard, that's Lup's cross to bear.

It makes her wonder what he's been up to all these years. Did he look for her? Who is she kidding, of course he did. Barry doesn't have a selfish bone in his body. Does he know all of what's going on? Lup is still mad fuzzy on the details, but Barry has things like mobility and power that she doesn't. 

Was he lonely just like she was?

-

Lup is worried about Wonderland. She already knows what the Animus bell can do, and Lucretia sounded awfully fucked up about it. If it's true that Wonderland is being run by horrible people who want to cause pain, the bell is the perfect tool to do that with. What she knows for sure is that Taako, Magnus, and Merle are going to lose something in Wonderland.

She's right in her assumptions that this place is terrible. They lose more than they can bear, sacrificing something special at every turn. Lup seethes, her family who has already lost so much is having their lives slowly dragged from them.

The pretty constant spell casting has Lup in a daze. She's tired, exhausted beyond measure, but she can't give up now, not with so much on the line. The strong death presence is there, so Lup is pretty sure Barry is around somewhere. She can rest a little easier knowing that her kickass, super smart boyfriend is helping Taako and the others.

Lup is in agony right along with Taako. It's terrible, he's hurting and Lup has never wanted a corporeal body so badly. If she were there's, these litches wouldn't even need stitches because they would be dead. 

However, she's forgotten a very important aspect about being a litch, one that she's forgotten before.

Litches are, after all, beings of pure magic. Her umbrella and beings of pure magic go very well together. Or very badly, depending on how you want to look at it.

The litch is sucked into Lup's space, lying panting on the ground of the velvet room. He is the first company Lup has had in years, the first person to hear her voice in over a decade.

"Are you the one that's been hurting my brother?" She asks calmly. Her voice is as hard as steel, sharper than railsplitter.

"What? Where are we?" The litch asks, looking around in confusion as he scrambles into a sitting position. 

Lup grins, and it's the worst expression to ever grace her face. Lesser men would have wept at the sight of it. "I'm going to fucking kill you now."

She makes quick work of Edward, it's not nearly the violence she craves after such a long dry spell, but it's enough to quench her need. Lup chews him up and spits him out, one litch down, one to go. 

Taako is hurt, Lup is exhausted. She can sense Barry nearby and it's enough to calm her. She rests well knowing her friends are in good hands.

-

When she wakes its to the terrible sense of wrongness, and she realizes what she's missed in her slumber.

The Hunger is here.

Then she tunes in to what's happening outside of the umbrella and realizes two very important things.

One, Barry is here, and he's in a flesh body. 

Two, Taako remembers her.

She feels him point the staff at Lucretia and uses every ounce of strength to stop the spell from coming out. Taako may feel enraged now, but he would never forgive himself if he hurt Lucretia.

But none of that really mattered because Lup was finally remembered. Her brother knew her again and so did her closest friends. She wasn't truly alone anymore.

All that was left was to get out of the umbrella, and to do that she had to let Taako know she was here.

Angus once again gets the dubious honor of having Lup use him as a sign. She blasts the monster in front of him with a show of force so disproportionate with his skill that it's laughable. 

Taako reaches for the umbra staff.

And he breaks it over his knee.

There is a flash of white hot pain as her prison is bent around her. Light and fire engulf her, and she is free. No longer is she engulfed in oblivion. A smile spreads across her ghostly face and she turns to see her brother in the flesh for the first time in over a decade.

"You're dating the grim reaper?"

Taako smiles, and Lup knows that no matter what happens next, at least she has that smile.

**Author's Note:**

> Lup is my wife and I love her. Stay tuned to more stuff from this series where I take unusual words and tune them into taz fics.


End file.
